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Merch Store

For legal reasons: satire. For operational reasons: necessary.

No affiliations Evidence-adjacent copy Protected speech
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ℹ️ Small print (the fun kind)

Everything here is parody/commentary. No endorsements. No affiliations. No confidential info.
If you want "official" merch, you're in the wrong building.
10% markup goes to supporting Candy's food and treat budget and administrative costs.
All payments processed via Shopify.

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